Stacks

i am afraid. the mind holds images like fresh paint on thick canvas; colors fade through the years but the pattern constantly remains and i am afraid. memories build in stacks, car doors open to bitter air and in my mind you are gone (in my mind, this is how you died) but i knowContinue reading “Stacks”

Work it

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.“ Robert Frost I come with a lot of flaws, it’s true. So much so, that I am usually pointing out even the most minute flaws that others probably do not even notice. My self esteem is a toilet. Maybe IContinue reading “Work it”

the office

No, not the funny one with Steve Carrell.  I’ve been working on making my home office a personal sanctuary (or bubble of sorts) for a longer amount of time than I am willing to admit. Trying to make a workspace that feels safe amid the unsafe. Conundrum! Setting up the room, though, has made itContinue reading “the office”

whispers

tonight i whispered goodbye on the wind; it danced across the keys of an untuned piano, and carried through an opening door, and slivered through a black, lace shawl, and whistled through the leaves of the tallest tree, and tumbled across shards of broken glass, and dove into the violent sea, and was swallowed byContinue reading “whispers”

Alone, now

i’m not supposed to be here and you are not supposed to stay it’s made clear you’ve left long ago but as you can see we are never quite on the same page i bleed alone, now, and carry myself i’ve sheltered me better, to tether my health; with the alter removed and a tasteContinue reading “Alone, now”

Hello, Fall

“The neighbor asked him how he was and what he’d been doing. My grandfather said, ‘I’ve been cutting the grass and watching it grow. Cutting the grass and watching it grow. Life,’ he said, ‘is ninety percent maintenance.’” ~ Spielberg’s Taken This summer has been a whirlwind combo of strange weather and a roller coasterContinue reading “Hello, Fall”

replay

tomorrow is almost, it’s there, (like today) just clearer and cleaner and further away, but tomorrow always comes at the break of each day and tomorrow is here much too soon ’tis today in reverse, stuck in yesterday’s curse, as tomorrow is yesterday’s turn at the bend, (half a tick to the end!) just aContinue reading “replay”

Internal II (wanderer)

there is someone wandering around on the inside of my head she and i are not the same and she often wishes I were dead she whistles haunting tunes, a sickly sweet into my ear, a restless hum of seething rage to fill my veins with endless fear she bids the sorrow that wears meContinue reading “Internal II (wanderer)”

melancholy

the sun is awake! curtains pulled to a shallow sea the waves begin to stir with a restless ache the sun has stolen me, how to make them understand that i am fear’s permanent reside words are not thoughts nor thoughts words; fragments and slivers the world is in motion, in tune with the sea,Continue reading “melancholy”