Grateful

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Sometimes the rough points in life seem endless. There is no light at the end of the tunnel and bad things are just going to continue to occur without pause. That is life and it goes on, so they say. 

2022 has been one big pile of unimaginable tragedy, pain, illness, and trauma, not just for my husband and I, but for folks within our tight knit little “framily”. My heart has been at a complete loss for why all of these incidents and heartaches are taking place. Is it just our age? Have we reached a strange place where this is just, how things are for a bit? If so, I cannot say I am enjoying it in the slightest. Nope.  

In the midst of the mess, our world was flipped upside down due to my unfortunate moment of vulnerability and in the utterance of a single sentence, we somehow became the cruelest individuals that have ever walked the planet. Suddenly, five plus years of abandoned work days, sleepless nights, endless days of interrupted visits with friends and family, and numerous instances of risking both of our lives, completely reduced to a simple, free therapy and taxi service. 

There is nothing like being made to feel completely worthless, especially when all the sacrifices were real and, some, irrevocably painful.

~

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”

~ Buddha

So here we are in February after a lot of hard decisions and healing, feeling surprisingly ready for whatever the rest of 2022 is here to bring. Priorities, plans, and finances redirected to finally begin pursuing what we have been putting on the back burner for our own growth. Feeling immensely grateful for the grace, empathy, and support we have received in our little circle during the heavy when it could have just been an “I told you so!”. Sometimes it is the littlest things that have reminded both of us we are worthy of better.

I could not feel more thankful for this moment of feeling a strange, unimaginable sense of peace. 

For those feeling less than worthy, I implore you to start your new year now. Redefine and rearrange what amplifies in you “I AM WORTHY!”. Find yourself a few folks with integrity who will check you when you need it and lift you when you cannot lift yourself. Fill up those timelines and follows with focus on the positive, the uplifting, and the safe.

The power of taking control over your own space is one you will never want to give back. 

X’s O’s and Skittles

One thought on “Grateful

  1. Yep. This is how it goes. It is your age, it is the time we live in, it is the hell we all walk through at various points. The best gift I ever gave myself, and the most freeing thing I have ever done in my life, is to let go. It was a long, hard, sad slough getting there but the peace is so worth it. (for me, the lesson keeps popping up – it takes perseverance). Keep it up. Do what you do for yourself, your integrity, your love and for the story you are telling with your life.

    Liked by 1 person

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